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Say No and Take Action Assert Yourself with a Confident ‘No’ No matter how entitled we feel to our time, space, and energy we cannot say ‘no’ without feeling twinges of misplaced guilt, fear, or discomfort. The most beneficial thing to do is to understand we are only responsible for how we feel and the intention behind the way we treat others. We are pushing a preconceived boundary set up in our mind from childhood that the word no is not considered nice or pleasant. In Life coaching one of the basic principles is living life from your higher self, with integrity, compassion, and respect. Being able to lovingly, sincerely, and comfortably convey ‘no’ allows you to walk your talk and live in alignment with your authentic self instead of acting against it. When we are ready to change for the better there will be others that are not comfortable with changes we make and may make it more difficult for us to say no. We must prepare ourselves for how to make saying no a comfortable concept. · Practice saying no in front of the mirror. Own it. Don’t be afraid you will sound negative, angry, or need to raise your voice. Try these on for size: “I am in the middle of multitasking. My plate is full for now.” “Currently I am not taking on any new responsibilities.” “I have another commitment that requires my undivided attention.” “I need to focus on my family/career right now.” “As a rule I do not lend money to friends or family.” · Use a firm yet polite voice that conveys your assertiveness and confidence behind your decision. Keep at the forefront of your mind the reasons behind your decision even if you do not intend to convey them. A life coach helps put your life in perspective with your priorities first so also do some role playing with your coach to flesh out more dramatic, uncomfortable situations you intend to address. We owe it to ourselves to make our dreams and goals a reality. · Our intention will be in alignment with our goals and removing unwanted obstacles from our path it is important to feel the emotions of joy, peace, and love as if we have achieved our goals already. A life coach gives 110% of the support required to achieve results and foster accountability so saying ‘no’ instils confidence, empowerment, and a sense of entitlement to living our lives authentically. We only live once. · Start out using ‘no’ on simple, easy to confront issues like saying no to that salesman, making firm yet kind requests of how you want your food order to be. You are the architect of your life. Incorporate useful body language such as looking the person in the eye, shaking your head while you say it, and using a firm tone of voice. · When confronted by an unexpected request it is imperative to fall back on “I will think about that and get back to you”. Do yourself the favour of thinking over your answer instead of sabotaging yourself and creating negative self talk that focuses your anger on either yourself or the other person for asking. We are powerful, loving people who truly want the best for ourselves and others. We are taking accountability for our feelings, actions, and creating unlimited opportunities so of course we want that for others. However that means that other people in your life will eventually realize that you are getting results by moving forward not getting stuck in familiar stagnant behaviour. How can our dreams and goals become reality when we live according to other peoples’ decisions? By saying ‘no’ when it is appropriate we create a new space in our minds and hearts to pursue our heart’s desire with no recriminations or regrets so that saying ‘yes’ to the universe creates the prosperity and success we knew we all deserve. We become our own role models as we carve out the life that best suits us which in turn establishes greater harmony in our relationships, careers, and personal lives. Now we are walking our talk!
Sabrena Salahudeen is a Registered Holistic Nutritionist specializing in Health Coaching and Empowerment Coaching. As a public speaker, writer, coach, health practitioner, and teacher she brings an organic, unique approach to moving clients forward to manifest their goals prosperously as whole beings embracing their authentic, powerful selves fully. Sabrena has an online health column for women at www.lisaliving.com called 'Ask Sabrena'. She is a Master Coach and Regional President of the Eastern Toronto area and Durham in Ontario, Canada, and New York City. Sabrena also teaches coaching and nutrition classes at the Canadian College of Humanitarian Medicine, founded by the World Organization of Natural Medicine Practitioners to restore and effectively deliver traditional and natural medicine health care, especially for impoverished nations. |
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“To empower others, you must take a leadership role. We are all leaders in our own right. Some of us just don't seem to want to accept it because of either selfishness or fear. You must understand that all our accomplishments are done through the efforts of other people whether you want to believe it or not.” Sharon Capehart, Positively Women, Inc. |
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